Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Randomize