the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I just googled if crying burns calories
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
