he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
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