He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
