Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
