Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
