we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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