walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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