hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Randomize
