But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
