i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Randomize
