I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
