Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
