I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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