If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
