Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
