I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize