I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Randomize
