I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Randomize
