this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize