Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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