I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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