Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Randomize
