connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
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