dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize