No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
Randomize
