Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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