I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Randomize
