i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Turns out I sent a dick pic to my sister's ex. Grindr is the devil's eharmony.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
