Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
