Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
