i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
being pregnant is like rehab
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
