Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Randomize
