is your mom at the bar?
No, I can't hang out with Dave because he already has a girlfriend. The one with the tatoos of cherries on her "cherry." Yeah, she doesn't really make me feel spectacularly comfortable.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Randomize
