This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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