sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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