if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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