He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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