I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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