i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
should my penis look like a turkey
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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