How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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