Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
My vagina is officially offended.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
