remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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