if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
