peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize