My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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