One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
Randomize
