He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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