I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Randomize
