I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize