I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
