Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
