shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
