The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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