OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Randomize
