dude i'm inner monologue high
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
