I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize
