I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
