Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
Randomize
