is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
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