I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
