My first STD was from a foam party
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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